There was a church that had problems
With outsiders parking in its parking lots,
So they put up a sign:
CHURCH CAR PARK - FOR MEMBERS ONLY
Trespassers will be baptized!
"No God - No Peace.
Know God - Know Peace."
"Free Trip to heaven:
Details Inside!"
"Try our Sundays.
They are better than Baskin Robbins."
"Searching for a new look?
Have your faith lifted here!"
An ad for one Church has a picture of
Two hands holding stone tablets on which
The Ten Commandments are inscribed,
And a headline that reads,
"For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."
When the restaurant next to another Church put out
A big sign with red letters that said, "Open Sundays,"
The church reciprocated
With its own message:
"We are open on Sundays, too."
"People are like tea bags --
You have to put them in hot water
Before you know how strong they are."
"Fight truth decay--
Study the Bible daily."
"How will you spend eternity--
Smoking or Nonsmoking?"
"Dusty Bibles
Lead to Dirty Lives"
"Come work for the Lord:
The work is hard,
The hours are long
And the pay is low.
But the retirement benefits
Are out of this world."
"It is unlikely there'll be a reduction
In the wages of sin."
"Do not wait for the hearse
To take you to church."
"If you're headed in the wrong direction,
God allows U-turns."
"If you don't like the way you were born,
Try being born again"
"Looking at the way some people live,
They ought to obtain
Eternal fire insurance soon."
"This is a ch_ _ ch.
What is missing?"
(U R)
"In the dark?
Follow the Son"
"Running low on faith?
Step in for a fill-up."
"If you can't sleep, don't count sheep.
Talk to the Shepherd."
No comments:
Post a Comment