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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Keep the Flame (for Ladies)

In Matthew 25, Jesus shares parables on how to prepare for the coming of the Kingdom of God. One parable concerns ten maidens who are waiting for the arrival of a bridegroom:

At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep. At midnight the cry rang out: "Here's the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!" Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, "Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out." "No," they replied, "there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves." But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut. Later the others also came. "Sir! Sir!" they said. "Open the door for us!" But he replied, "I tell you the truth, I don't know you." Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour (Matthew 25:1-13).

This parable is clearly about the need for every person to be wise in preparation because we don't know when Christ will return. Jesus uses a culturally familiar scene of ten maidens (the Greek word used here is parthenos, meaning "mature young women") who are performing the traditional duty of lighting the way of the bridegroom. Their "lamps" were probably torches on long poles with wicks that needed to be soaked in a flammable oil to remain lit.

If you were a "parthenos" listening to Jesus tell this parable, you might find yourself quite concerned about the choices made by the five foolish single women. Their lack of readiness cost them dearly. No doubt the first thing you would do when you got home that night would be to check your own oil supply!

For the Christian single woman, today's messages about the requirements of femininity pose dizzying contradictions. Take a look at any magazine stand. What is the most important thing a woman needs? Independence? The right man? Equality in the workplace? Great nails? Proponents of the sexual revolution claim that women have always lacked independent identity, that they have been defined primarily in relation to men.

Feminist leader Patricia Ireland writes, "The essence of feminism for me is the freedom to live our lives as we please, and to reinvent the world as we do so." Helen Gurley Brown, for 31 years editor of Cosmopolitan, is radically different in view and constituency from Patricia Ireland, yet in a recent interview she comments regarding why she wanted to run Cosmo: "I really knew from the very first hour what I wanted to say and who I wanted to write for—that 23-year-old with her nose pressed to the glass, not having everything, and wanting more, and willing to try hard for it…[The Cosmo Girl] wants to do it better, she wants to have it all."

The Militant Feminist and the sassy Cosmo girl are both adamant about what they want, it's just that they want quite different things. One defines her wants in terms of an independent identity, the other in terms of the culture of beauty. The modern woman is constantly pulled between these two mutually incompatible goals. For every Ms. Magazine there is a Mademoiselle. For every book on how to compete with a man there's one on how to keep him. Both views, however, define womanhood unbiblically, because they define it in external terms. They falsely claim that the truly modern woman can only find meaning in how she looks or what she controls.

The biblical picture is quite different. The Bible portrays true femininity not as external assertiveness or attractiveness, but as something that is fundamentally internal. Biblical femininity is a conquest of the heart and a beauty of the soul. Scripture's instruction to women emphasizes qualities such as reverence (admiration & worship), self-control, purity (cleanliness & integrity), and kindness. Peter instructs women that, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment…Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight" (1 Peter 3:3-4).

Is Peter saying the godly woman is to be seen and not heard? Or that women can only be godly when devoid of all adornment? No! Peter is encouraging women that the audience that really matters is an audience of One. The Bible provides women with wisdom that is timeless and fully relevant for today. In a world that would limit your vision to the superficial and external, the woman of God fulfills her call from the inside out. The great examples of women in the Scriptures—Deborah, Ruth, Hannah, Esther, Mary, and others—all exhibit this character, regardless of the task to which they were called. These women were not foolish, rebellious, or vain. They demonstrated true loveliness by being prepared in heart for the time and task of God's choosing.

The fight for power and position that consumes the feminist woman, and the lust for fashion that enslaves the worldly woman, are both enticements to the Christian woman. Who wouldn't be tempted to seek to "do it better, and have it all"? But at what cost?

The church is made up of women and men working in complementary relationship. In its ideal state this relationship, through a balance of outer impact and inner fire, produces a church strong in mission and deep in passion for God. But where lust for power or obsession with beauty is present among its women, the church is hindered in its passion for the Lord.

In the Scriptures the idea of a flame is often used to signify God's presence. The flame of God's presence led the children of Israel through the wilderness. The Spirit of God came up on the Christians at Pentecost as the flame. A flame represents power, purity, and light. A flame also requires tending and care. The five wise maidens in the parable made sure their torches were ready, and that the flame stayed lit. How can you as a Christian single woman follow the example of the wise maidens, and care for the lamp of God's presence in your life and sphere of influence?

Tend the flame. Have you ever walked with a candle through a dark and drafty house? You learn quickly to protect the flame from the elements, or risk having it go out on you (typically, right after you hear a creepy noise in the next room). The tending of a flame is not done with bold gestures or impulsive activity, for as strong as fire can rage, it can also flicker and fade. Tending a flame requires patience, attention to detail, and a wisdom to know that the stronger the flame, the farther the light will push back the darkness.

How can you, like a wise maiden, tend the flame? First of all, don't let the howling winds of cultural change blow out your fire. Be a woman of the Word, and let the Bible define you, not the feminist movement or the fashion world. Study what Scripture says about you, and value its wisdom for your life. Recognize that stirring dying coals and fanning promising sparks in the church demands character. Discontent, double-mindedness, worldliness, and the like produce impatience with God and his plan for your life. In the end, your eternal reward will not be for the ministries you ran or the spiritual gifts you used, but for the lives you touched. A woman who perseveres in her distinctive calling in God will fan the flame of faith in the hearts of many, and will be of great value to the work of God in her generation.

In Acts 16 Paul travels to Philippi. There he meets Lydia, a successful business woman who happens to be single. Whether she was ever married, we don't know. We do know that she is "a worshipper of God" (v. 14) and that she received the gospel becoming the first Christian in that part of the world! Her home became the meeting place for the church in Philippi, and her gift of hospitality became one of the great marks of this church that Paul loved so dearly. Lydia's faith fanned the flame of a church that Paul considered his "partners in the gospel" (Php 1:5). Lydia was a single woman of influence, grace, and passion for God.

Fan the flame. Don't be content just to keep the fire burning—fan the flame! Disciplines like prayer, evangelism, worship, and servant hood will both increase your zeal and inspire others to greater passion in God. For example, Debbie is a single sister in our church, and a highly successful manager in a national company. Is she known in the church for her business leadership? No, and she doesn't seek to be. She is known for prayer. She is an intercessor who regularly gathers folks at her home for times of prayer. Sylvia is a single woman in another church. She is a banker who doesn't let that often dry profession rob her radiant joy. She loves the lost with her life, and attracts them with her spirit.

These women contribute in many other ways, but their primary vision is that the church maintain a burden for the lost and a heart for God. I don't know where we'd be without them and the many others like them. Deb and Sylvia are doing more than tending the fire, they're fanning the flame in themselves, and warming us all in the glow.

Pass the torch. Hannah More was a woman of extraordinary talents. An accomplished playwright, she traveled in the best circles of London society in the late 1700s. Her faith was sincere, but carefully adapted to her secular lifestyle. The deaths of some of her closest friends shook her and sent her on a quest to understand the faith of her childhood. In time she found her friends changing, and her heart as well. She met people who were serious about applying their faith to real-life dilemmas, and they lovingly challenged her to do the same. Encouraged by her new pastor, John Newton (who wrote the hymn "Amazing Grace"), she caught a vision. God had given her intelligence, gifting, position, and wealth, and she wanted to spend it all for him.

Initially her "consecrated pen" became her ministry, and she produced many widely read tracts, dramas, and essays addressing the problems of the day from a Christian perspective. Her writings helped stem the tide in England of a revolutionary anarchy that had already devastated France. With her longtime friend William Wilberforce she helped overthrow slavery in England. She became one of the most important benefactors to the ministries of John and Charles Wesley.

In time she and her sisters developed a burden for the poor and, venturing out of their comfortable upper-class surroundings, created an education and evangelism program in one of London's poorest areas. Yet Hannah More also was deeply committed to the discipling of young women in the faith, serving them with her pen and her life. She became the most influential woman in England, even though she never held a position in any power structure.

What made Hannah More special? She had vision for a life beyond personal accomplishment. She worked within the biblical limits of her gifting and calling. She had a commitment to her local Christian community that nourished her faith. She was obedient to the promotions of God. She expressed her trust in God through the giving of her resources and life. She took Paul's admonition to "Train younger women" (Titus 2:3-4) seriously. In short, not only did she fan the flame in her life and her church, she gave her life to passing it on beyond her generation and social group.

Every Christian single woman has the opportunity to be a Lydia or a Hannah More. The temptations to give in to the culture are real, and the choices you make are crucial. Which world will you live in, which Kingdom will have your allegiance?

Keep the Flame by Andrew Farmer

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