God's Yellow Pages

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Truth & Humor

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There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news.  The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program.  The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets." ============================= While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage.  The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass.  Caution: Do not step in exhaust." =============================  A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend.  The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station.  Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.   "Reverend," said the young man, "Sorry about the delay.  It ...
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What Does It Mean to Be Made New?

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  by Liz Curtis Higgs   "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV) When this Former Bad Girl received Christ, you can imagine what my coworkers thought when I danced out the door on a Friday afternoon shouting, "Party!" and then strolled in Monday morning saying, "Praise the Lord, I’ve been baptized!" Did they notice? Oh, baby. As spring turned into summer, I soared and stumbled along my new walk with Christ, watched carefully by my coworkers, who were curious about the changes they were seeing. One October day, our receptionist asked me, "Liz, what does it mean to be a Christian?" Uh-oh. The most important question ever. Did I have an answer at the ready? I did not. Desperately looking around for inspiration, I saw a ceramic pumpkin on display and stammered, "Oh, Alice, it’s just like being a pumpkin." "Really?" she asked. "What do y...
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Biblical Information As Told By Children

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Children were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. The following statements about the Bible were written by children. They have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in.) In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Gentilels. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles. Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to g...
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