Lifehouse's Everything Skit

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Truth & Humor

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There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news.  The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program.  The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets." ============================= While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage.  The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass.  Caution: Do not step in exhaust." =============================  A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend.  The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station.  Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.   "Reverend," said the young man, "Sorry about the delay.  It ...
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The Bridge Illustration

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A. Our Purpose: Why God Created People The Father in heaven has great plans for us. He said in Jeremiah 29:11, “I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God made us for three reasons: To Glorify God. God, being all-good, all-loving, all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-perfect deserves our respect and worship. The apostle Peter wrote, “You are a chosen people… a people belonging to God that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” (1 Peter 2:9) To Know God. God wants a relationship with each one of us. He asks that we call Him “Father,” not “Life Force” or “First Cause.:” Jesus said, “I have made you (Father) known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” (John 17:26 NIV) To Have a Satisfying Life. Without God, life is shallow disjointed and purposeless. God has planned for ...
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Biblical Information As Told By Children

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Children were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. The following statements about the Bible were written by children. They have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in.) In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Gentilels. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles. Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to g...
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